SOCPM Newsletter | January 2023

Greetings,

I'm back; thank you for all the prayers and all glory to God.

I did return to Dixon this past Wednesday, January 18th. I had planned to return to Sheridan yesterday (Friday, January 20th). However, due to a staff shortage, Sheridan was on a level two lockdown, which resulted in the cancellation of all volunteer programs.

So my plan to write about the happenings, mainly the interactions between my students and myself discussing dealing with life's tragedies, will hopefully come in the next SOCPM newsletter.

Instead, I'll share some of God's work in my life in dealing with my bride, Michelle's death, my gratefulness for the church family, a day with a former SOCPM student, and future SOCPM Newsletters.

To Him be the glory in ALL things and Him alone,

Scott Kalas
Soldiers of Christ Prison Ministries

Our Lives are a Mist, and the Sovereignty of God.

'See you next week, Lord willing.' Those are the words I say to my guys at the end of a class. When I told them at Dixon Wednesday, November 16th, and Sheridan on Friday, November 18th, the furthest thing from my mind was how the 'Lord's will' before next week would change my everyday life. 

I intentionally try to remember to say 'Lord willing' when I say goodbye to someone because of God's teaching in James 4:13-17. Some may think I'm being pious, but James 4:14-15 reads, 'yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life?' For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."

None of us knows what the next moment holds, let alone tomorrow. So when I prayed with and kissed my bride, Michelle, good night on November 22nd, despite James 4:13-17, I did not realize it would be the last mutual kiss of our life together.

I'm not going to share all the details of Michelle's passing, but I want to share my most recurring cry to God: ' why?' He has not yet given me an answer, but He owes me no explanation (Job 41:11, Psalm 24:1, Romans 11:3). Despite knowing He owes me no reason, I sought to create my own. Michelle being, being an organ donor would result in her donating an organ to a person who was not saved. The recipient's life would be extended, and during that time of extended life would come to know the Lord. A gift of eternal life! 

That scenario may make for a good tear-filled movie, but life is not a movie. None of Michelle's organs would be suitable for donation to any person in the short time an organ remains viable. I still, at times, cry out 'why,' but I find solace in trusting God in all things, even those deep in my soul (Romans 8:28).

A thought that the evil one put in my mind in the first few days was the many 'ifs.' His primary lie was, 'If I only found Michelle earlier, it may have saved her.' Thankfully, I can silence the lie and others like it knowing God is sovereign. Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps, is a Proverb I go to when I falsely believe the ifs.

If it was God's will for Michelle to live, He would have had me find her at the appropriate time. If He wanted Michelle's organs to be a gift of life and salvation for somebody, a recipient would have been found. 

Many people, including some Christians, deny God's sovereignty, but God is a God of love and thus loves me. Therefore, a loving God does not want me to berate myself for the remainder of my life for not finding Michelle at the time that would have saved her life.

I've read and listened to many things in the past weeks to bring me peace, comfort, and love for God. But, of course, one can never have too many of those things; one was a Ligonier Ministry, 'Renewing Your Mind' podcast, 'Suffering, Assurance and Sovereignty of God.' I invite you to listen.

One of the most potent thoughts I had at the end of the service after listening to people share their thoughts on Michelle was just how blessed I was to have Michelle as my bride. 

The importance of Church, Not Just for the Gospel

God's sovereignty and love were not only felt in my knowing Him through His Word but also through my Redeemer Fellowship church family and other brothers and sisters in Christ.

My life in Jesus Christ is the foundation of enduring all that has happened since the early morning of November 23rd. 

Without my church family, not just Redeemer Fellowship, but all my brothers and sisters in Christ, I, thankfully, don't know where my grief would have led me. There were many occurrences of my church family coming to my side, too many to share; a prominent one is my feeling without Michele in my life, I no longer had a purpose in life. After all, how many times when I would tease Michelle, she would say you love teasing me, don't you?' I would reply, 'it's what I live for, bride!'

Ray and his wife Luanne have been by my side for twenty-plus years. It was after my saying with a heart of despair, 'I have no purpose,' replied, 'Yes, you do your prisoners, they need you.' It brought me out of my feeling of woe to a certain point, but it was the words of Paul, a former SOCPM student, that God used to pull me completely out of miry clay.

When it came time for others attending the service to share, Paul was the first to step forward. I can't remember all his words, but in summary, it was how God used me to change his life. You can hear his exact words and all of Michelle's memorial service by clicking here. 

Despite the grievous loss of my bride, God has drawn me closer to Him. He has given me a stronger assurance of my salvation. Though my heart grieves like never before, and I may have cried out if not wailed. 'why,' I never cursed Him or have had anger towards Him, but love more, for blessing me with His peace, comfort, trust, and the love of His Church. He has, and I trust, will continue to provide for my needs. With financial stewardship, which means less eating out 😏 I'll be able to continue living in Michelle's and my home. 

One prayer of the many is that one of the whys is as I journey through the remaining time of my life, others will see Christ in me, and God will use it to draw them closer to Him.

 A Day with Paul

Paul's sharing of how God used me in his life echoed Ray's words to the full impact I needed to hear. So I made it a point to connect with Paul upon my return home after a time of love, care and support from Ray and Michelle at their home in Colorado.

Paul and I went to lunch earlier this month, which will be a lifelong memory for me. Paul shared his home, currently a halfway house. He showed his love for playing the drums. It was over lunch, 'you saved my life.' I altered those words to say how God used me to do that, but God used Paul's word to fan the flame of God's gift in my life (2 Timothy 1:6) and the purpose he called me to before time began(2 Timothy 1:8-9). God also put in my heart by His using me that there are more Pauls out there. 

One of the things I wish I had the opportunity to share is photos of God using me in SOCPM. But my taking pictures in Dixon and Sheridan is a big NO IDOC policy.

So it is with great joy I share a couple of pictures of my day with Paul.

Some Final thoughts

Though life has returned to some normalcy, it is different.
I plan to write about happenings 'Inside the Gate' and 'Outside the Gate' in the next SOCPM Newsletter. When that is is still undecided. I plan to go to a monthly newsletter. Because my typing skills are atrocious, and my lack of proper grammar makes writing them an ugh. It seems with every correction, another error per Grammarly. What some could probably do in one or two hours takes me three and many frustrations.

A final challenge is being content with the overall content. Michelle would often say I'm my worst critic when I would say my style and way of newsletters are boring.


Michelle was probably correct, and I'll miss her encouragement. So to better steward my time and lessen my stress, I'll write the SOCPM newsletter once a month.

On the Prayer front 

Cameron - Cameron remains in Pima County Jail. He will likely be released in the coming weeks. However, where he will go is a big unknown. In my last few calls, he is open to finding a halfway house near Maricopa, AZ, where his youth pastor, Grady, now pastors a church and will try to find a halfway house near him. Please pray Grady finds a place for Cameron to live and begins getting back on solid footing. Hopefully, more so through his salvation.

Self - A praise of thanks for all the love, care, and encouragement God blessed me through my church family and friends. Prayers of praise that, as of now, my financial situation will allow me to stay in my and Michelle's home. I'll restart fundraising soon, and though financially secure now, additional ministry support would be a blessing. Pray for me to feel God's continued healing, and I find an even greater joy than before in prison ministry.

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